A Little Politics; A Little Pride

I thought that I had exhausted my revulsion and contempt for politicians who want to re-enslave women and make them mere property again, slightly more important than the family pet, but barely.  But no, I just heard about the new laws passed in Arizona. The way old, white, privileged men (read: Republican) continue to harass and, literally, get up a woman's vagina all the way to her uterus renews my disgust.  I simply do not understand the necessity for making women second class citizens at best.  Again.  I would appreciate anyone who can justify this to me in some sort of logical, legal (not religious) fashion.  I promise no reprisals: I will merely read.                                                                                                        
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Above you see my family: wife, two daughters, two grandsons; taken last summer in Davis, CA whilst visiting.  Second pic above is Erin's college chamber choir fresh from their tour and home concert last month.

Just thought I'd throw something up there this morning; entertain y'all a bit.

First POSITIVE PROGNOSIS (!)

I got the first really good news of this drama yesterday at my neurologist's office. It was the post-surgical, post-rehab, post-outpatient physical therapy appointment. He watched me take a few steps while holding on to me and said this:

--You will be walking unassisted by the end of the year. To which I replied:
--No shit? How confident are you of that? To which he replied:
--90%.

Boy oh boy, was that good news. I don't think he would give me false hope at this point so I choose to believe him and work very hard to make his prediction come true. I won't be tap dancing or running a marathon, to be sure, but I at least hope to walk onto a stage again with a modicum of comfort and ease, if not elegance, and be able to stand through at least half a rehearsal.

My physical therapist punishes me three times per week and thinks I am doing beautifully, given the damage to my nerves and the resultant weakening of leg muscles. For the first time since the Minor Setback, she took away my walker and put me onto two canes and made me walk with them about 150 feet, with rest stops every fifty feet. I was sweating at the end of it. I have to keep doing that because Two Canes is the third stage of treatment, with One Cane being the fourth (wheelchair and walker are One and Two).

I am lucky to have a superb caretaker, Dorothy Miller, during the week, who punishes me almost as much as the physical therapist and is a joy to be around. We're going out for Happy Hour oysters and martinis tomorrow for a minor celebration of sorts. Erin comes home Sunday and maybe we can do the same.
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This will be the last post about this soap opera for some time: nine months is the gestation period for humans and my gestation period for a rebirth of ambulatory independence. It's a long time. I may go back to discussing politics, which at the moment is rich with topics. Who knows? Maybe I'll run for president in 2016.

Thanks for staying tuned. All told, I'm a lucky guy: I have two daughters, two old friends, an adopted family, and numerous former students who apparently really do give a rip about me and bother to tell me so, for which I am more grateful than I care to express here.

Cheers, then,

Bill

Minor Setback Amidst Slow Progress

I'm back in the wheelchair. At 300 am on 16 March, whilst taking walker to the toilet, I noticed my right leg was dragging. When I got up at 700, neither leg was working and I was in the same condition as before surgery: useless. I was unable to do any of my leg exercises that morning. At physical therapy that day, the therapist who is very experienced in spinal cord injury said that my symptom is not uncommon. My strength will probably return, but I must work hard daily to regain the progress I had attained in the 5 weeks since surgery. (I'd been out of the wheelchair for about two weeks). As a result, I have requested 24-hour caregiving while Erin is on tour next week; if something happened at night while alone, I could be helpless until morning, unable to even reach my cell phone. Sigh, sigh, double sigh. Will use walker AMAP today and resume trying leg exercises. Triple sigh.
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I think it's important to relate here what I have to tell myself more than weekly: I did absolutely nothing to myself to deserve this. I did nothing to cause it. Shit happens. Nor did I coach the four incorrect diagnoses from three neurologists and one orthopedic surgeon over a four-year period of slow deterioration; I merely accepted blame and one unnecessary back surgery. Neither blame nor surgery helped. I am where I am, that is, a victim of the "best health care system in the world." Only frequent bouts of cursing seem to help temporarily, as does a lot of sleep (everything I do is an exhausting effort). According to my neurologist, it could be six months to a year before any real progress might be noticed. No guarantees as to how much progress I might experience nor how long it might take because we have no real idea how much nerve damage was done before the corrective surgery, which may have come too late. Only guarantee is that symptoms will not get worse. That's something, at least.
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Am looking forward to a corned beef sandwich today to celebrate St. Paddy, as well as more of the world's second finest athletic event: NCAA BB Tournament.

Cheers, gang.

Up and At 'Em (I guess), At Least Not Down and Out (yet)

Was discharged from an acute rehab facility here in Huntsville and returned home on 27 Feb so on Monday it will be a week. I had been hospitalized since surgery on 2 Feb and have been in a wheelchair since. My walking with a walker improved very much in the three weeks of daily therapy and am now in outpatient rehab here in town three days a week, where we continue to work on muscle strength and flexibility in the legs, as well as my gait. While in rehab I learned to transfer smoothly from wheelchair to bed, easy chair, dinner chair, and toilet with help. I now do those things without help but I still need help in and out of the shower. I dress and shave myself, though I have to transfer to a stool so I can sit at the sink for ablutions (wheelchair is too low). In short, I think my legs have improved in terms of strength and movement. We'll see what Erin thinks when she arrives home.

I have two long term care policies to which I have made claims so I hope they don't act like normal insurance companies and find an excuse to refuse me: my nest egg would disappear; it would have disappeared long ago without Medicare (Democrats and Lyndon Johnson be praised). I have had in-home help from Home Instead since my arrival at home: my main caregiver is a delightful woman who was here from the first day. Have also had help from three others this week when Dorothy is off and during the night; we didn't want me home alone at night while Erin is attending the ACDA Southern Division, where she made a successful presentation today. She arrives home tomorrow.

Am trying to use the wheel chair less and less; I now take the walker instead when going to the bathroom or into the bed for a nap or at night. I can now do everything for myself except stand and cook, as well as fetch things (hard to do when you have both hands on the walker). Standing without any support at all is still very hard because of weak muscles, yes, but primarily because I can't feel my feet, so my brain doesn't know where I am in space and I weave like a helpless drunk after a short time.

Thanks for the many expressions of support both here and on Facebook; I am deeply grateful for them and am so glad that I have so many former students who still care about me after all these years and take the time to say so in some form.

Am trying to follow my Viking forebears' excellent advice: 'Pray to God in a storm if you like, but keep on rowing.'

Will keep rowing.

Latest Post-Surgical News

Operation was a success; i.e., he did what he wanted to do. Whether or not--and how much--I recover critical functions remains to be seen. Am in inpatient rehab here in HSV until 27th. Meanwhile, am fitting the house for some critical things that people in wheelchairs need. I am now one of them. Erin holding up well. Dog still loves me. Have walked 250 feet very slowly with the help of a walker and helper. That's the best I can report at the moment, other than I hate hospital food. Am receiving fine medical, therapeutic and technical care. My legs are beginning to work again after three weeks of utter uselessness.

The Cause of My Problem and the Slow Recovery

Yesterday's spinal arteriogram revealed a hole in one of the blood vessels in the thoracic spine. Dr. Chan, who did the procedure, said he could have fixed the problem while in there if his probe had been a bit smaller (he went in from the groin) but, alas, that will have to wait.

Diagnosis: what I have is Foix Alajouanine Syndrome (in English, spinal dural arteriovenous fistula), a very rare condition discovered in 1926 by two Frenchmen that feels and acts like normal peripheral neuropathy but is instead the cause. My neurologist, Dr. Mulpur, has only encountered four such cases in his twenty-two years of practice. The progress of my condition can be halted by a surgical procedure going in from the back that will remove a section of the offending vein, returning the blood flow to normal, relieving the pressure on the spinal cord. This pressure is what has caused the problem from the beginning. The procedure will be performed by one of the finest specialists in the country, Dr. Dan Barrows at Emory University in Atlanta. Drs. Chan and Mulpur are working as I write to schedule an appointment that fits Erin's schedule so that we can get this done ASAP.

Prognosis: Symptoms that generally respond well to this treatment are walking difficulties and muscle strength, which believe me are my most serious problems. In other words, there is hope and a chance that I will walk unassisted again sometime in the foreseeable future (within about two years; it was slow in coming, it will be slow in leaving). I should sense improvement within several weeks after the procedure. I may not tap dance or run again, but I hope that I can at least return to shooting hoops (a whole-body endeavor, which is why I had to quit: I only had half a functioning body) and stand in front of a chorus again without leaning on the piano or using a stool. Maybe even yoga, if I can get off the floor smoothly.
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I wish I could drive to Atlanta and have this done on Monday, but alas will have to wait on Barrow's schedule.
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Profound thanks to Dr. Stephen Somerville in Green Bay, who saw me over Christmas, looked at all my medical records, and said "No, it's not neurological, it's spinal and it's in the thoracic spine." He was correct. Thanks to my wonderful GP, Dr. Ghanta, who ordered the MRI with contrast of the thoracic spine. Thanks to my neurologist, Dr. Mulpur, and the neuro-radiologists who read the MRI and definitively confirmed Somerville's diagnosis. Thanks to Dr. Alex Chan and Nurse Moss, who were not only professional but personable as well. Boos and hisses to the anesthesiologists, who put me out so fast that I didn't even get three seconds of '60's opiate euphoria. I had asked for thirty seconds and should have gotten it, given what those guys cost.

More anon. When I have news, you'll get it. Thanks to all the faithful: Xn, Katie, Bob, James, Pam, Joe.

Morning Briefing

My condition has worsened considerably. I can barely walk even with the walker. Am undergoing a spinal arteriogram on Thursday, which is supposed to halt the progress and begin the long slow climb back. Neurologist and three radiologists are convinced it will work. Don't know that I am; I was fooled once a year ago. Am beginning negotiations to have myself checked into Vanderbilt medical center to confirm or refute this diagnosis/prognosis, or to possibly discern other causes. This will be my fifth surgery in the past year, though one was very minor. The good thing is the 30 seconds of opiate euphoria I experience while being wheeled into the OR; I should have done the 60's in a way other than grad school, lemme tell ya. Boy, I'm clever on that gurney! Erin and her parents have been wonderful throughout this mess.
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In other news, the Republican field of delegates is the most disgusting, frightening thing I have experienced in my long, full life. And why we have to be treated to debate after debate of this clown-show-turned-fecal-fest is way beyond me.

This just in! Have begun negotiations to e-publish my second book. By popular demand!

Stay tuned for more if you've a mind. Breaking news at 11:00!